Just why do geeks look geeky?
It may be a result of cramming an ever-growing set of experiences into a steadily shrinking pool of brain cells, but the people I’ve met throughout my life are starting to blur together. When I hook up with old friends and colleagues I increasingly mix up the times and places our paths crossed. Dave from London five years ago silently morphs into Phil from Manchester ten years ago.
While I openly admit to the creeping senility my younger colleagues keep reminding me about, I think there’s something more going on here. Dave from London and Phil from Manchester are surprisingly similar. In fact the same can be said of many of the people I’ve met throughout my life. They have similar personalities, similar quirks and similar interests. They also, rather curiously often have similar looks.
Born and bred
As Jean-Jacques Rousseau wrote, “He who has the courage to appear always what he is, will sooner or later become what he must be.” If you’re genetically predisposed to a role in life it makes sense that it’s where you’ll find yourself. Caring sociable types become nurses. Intelligent, giving types become teachers. Chatty, friendly, down-to-earth types become cabbies, Leery, schmoosy, competitive types end up in marketing or advertising.
So it is unsurprising that one’s colleagues are similar in nature. But surely one’s personality and one’s appearance should be totally unrelated? So why do colleagues so often seem similar in looks too?
Raised and made
Could nurture be as important as nature? Could the reverse of Rousseau’s opinion carry equal weight – he who appears to be what people think he is, will sooner or later become what they think he is?
Nurses after all, tend to look nursey. Doctors tend to look like doctors. Scientists and computer programmers tend to look geeky.
Whether we like it or not we all judge people on their appearance and react to them based on that initial preconception. If you look like the archetype sweet, caring, dolly-hugging girlie, then people will treat you that way. If you look like a bookish nerd, they’ll do likewise.
If as a child you’re treat in a particular way based on other people’s appearance-driven preconceptions of what you’re like, if they choose their words, their topics and their gifts based on those preconceptions, wouldn’t that steer the development of your personality and your interests as much as the person inside does?
Well, maybe. Though if this was the case wouldn’t we live in a world full of people raised randomly for roles their personalities may or may not fit?
Not necessarily. Body language is an important part of our appearance too and therefore also shapes people’s preconceptions of what we’re like. And our body language heavily reflects our personalities. You don’t just look like a sweet girlie or a bookish nerd because of your physical body but also how you use that body.
Natural born malcontents
So perhaps both Rousseau’s view and its opposite are equally true. Thanks to body language, he who appears to be what people think he is, probably is what they think he is.
But only probably. For an unlucky few childhood will be a tug-of-war between nature and nurture, between the person inside and the one society sees. Another common type of person I’ve met throughout my life is the person utterly ill-suited to the role they’re filling. Perhaps this is how they got there.