You know you’re working with the wrong people when…
I freely admit I’m a world-class sad bastard. Danger and excitement are most definitely not in my family motto.
But to my mind, most people are just the same really. The people busying themselves filling their lives with what everyone else seem to be doing and passionately Facebooking about are usually just as dull and empty. In many ways I have a lot more respect for the people who are content with themselves and don’t chase the crowd. But at least these people have a sense of story about their lives, and however shallowly motivated their spare time activities may be, they go out there and make a story. And being in their slipstream adds to your own story.
Now, I have subconsciously long realised that my current set of colleagues are significantly lacking in this respect. Often though, you don’t really consciously realise what’s right under your nose.
Until….
Why did the lap-dancing club install Wi-Fi?
Near our office there is a lap-dancing club. Now, not being into solo perving, and not being with a like-minded crowd, I’ve not been in there. But it’s the sort of place that, on other jobs and with other workmates, I could well end up in from time to time after a few post-work beers.
For reasons that entirely escape me, this particular lap-dancing club have installed Wi-Fi for the benefit of their loyal deviants. Now, don’t get me wrong, I can see having data in there being a plus for the Facebooking suits-on-tour and I can imagine wanting to check your email in the odd quiet moment, but as if your mobile network couldn’t handle that? Data yes, but who the hell needs bandwidth in a girlie bar?
For people like this
Not only does this lap-dancing club have Wi-Fi, they have very powerful Wi-Fi. So powerful in fact that on the upper floors of our nearby office building, we pick their signal up. This has led to a disheartening amount of lamentably innocent schoolboy sniggering and the following world-class comment, surprisingly from one of the livelier of my colleagues.
It would almost be worth going and getting a lap-dance just to get the Wi-Fi key
Almost mark you! I mean, it’s not like getting a few days of free data would actually compensate you for the obvious negatives of having a hot, naked woman wriggling against your groin for five minutes. Oh no, heaven forefend!
Hey, it could be worse
I think it’s safe to say that the next (and rare) team night out will not be ending in a laddish perving session at the local titty joint. And when you can’t count the number of ways a colleagues comment is wrong, it’s time to start looking for that next gig.
In the meantime though, I can at least comfort myself with one thing. A sad bastard I may be, but at least I’ve never walked into a lap-dancing club and asked for the Wi-Fi key.
And I would love to have seen the manager’s face when he pulled “install Wi-Fi” out of the suggestion box.